The Things We (Don't) Want To Hear.

I'm an honest person, but I understand tact. I do, however have a trigger for throwing tact out the window and it is as follows, "Tell me what you really think." If someone says that to me then they had better be prepared for me to tell them what I think. It isn't always pretty.

Oh who am I kidding it's never pretty. People only want to hear the honest truth about things they don't want to hear the truth about. It's the masochistic nature of humans to get hurt in this regard so they can develop negative opinions about the "truth speaker". I've seen it happen a lot, and I've done it to. The kicker is when the person tells you that you're wrong. I'm not sure how I can be wrong in an opinion. I can be uneducated or perhaps misguided, but my opinion remains just that, my opinion. It is the yardstick I use to measure the world. It tells me what things are good and bad and what people are worth talking to and who isn't. It's a slippery slope, perhaps, but I can't be faulted for being dishonest.

Women have a tendency to be more demanding in this request. They will ask for a man's "honest opinion", but they want that honest opinion to match what they're already thinking. Sure sometimes the two line up, but more often than not they won't. Men don't think the same way. As a fairly intelligent guy I can assure you I don't think the same way about certain matters as other people I've dealt with in life. When they ask me for my honest opinion it's going to be a well thought out critique.

I was presented this situation earlier tonight when a colleague from work asked me what I meant by a statement. I clarified saying it was a miscue and that my comment wasn't worth pursuing. When she pushed further I explained what it was that I was thinking and I'm fairly certain I insulted her. I'm not too concerned about any fallout from this, but I do find it frustrating when people bite my head off over matters they wanted to know.

It serves to have a bit of emotional detachment at these times. Often people don't like hearing the truth and aren't getting mad because they think you're a liar. Instead they get upset because you've hit a nerve. This may be conscious or unconscious, but I think this is more often the case. I'm a perceptive guy, and I can read someone fairly quickly. I'm not always right, but I do get the general picture pretty clearly.

All I'm saying is don't ask me for the truth if you can't handle the most cutting things I have to say. I keep my tongue sheathed most of the times because I am well too aware of the wounds I can open with it.