White Lies.

It's remarkable the things we convince ourselves of in order to get to bed at night. I was certain that I had written off the people in my life from my days with the Vespa. There was a quartet of friends I had made through that scooter who I really lost touch with after my accident. However, on my way out of work this evening I spotted a red Vespa with a female rider on it, and instead of dismissing the sighting I actually ran around the corner to see if it was Kaala, one of the girls I knew. I didn't managed to get around the corner by the time the rider was gone. I did chuckle to myself though. What if it was Kaala, was I going to shout out her name over the sound of traffic in the hopes she'll turn around, drive back and give me her Vespa? I can't really say why I looked, but it did convince me that there's a part of that world I still miss.

It's hard to put into words the kind of community that I was part of when I owned that scooter. I went on cruises with the KW Vespa club, met people who shared a surprisingly large amount of things in common with myself and I felt like I was actually part of something unique. When I lost the scooter, I also felt like I lost part of my identity. It's not like I had the thing long enough to really establish a renown for myself, but to me that Vespa meant so much. I had purchased it just after I left Pier 1 Imports in search of employment where I didn't need to be in the public eye. I saw it in the window of the store, and was gob-smacked. It was the right colour, right size and it connected with me. I owned the vehicle within the month, and the sensation of freedom I had on it was inexplicable. When I rode I didn't have my PRP, I was just enjoying the wind on my face and I could begin to craft an image around that world.

After the accident I told myself that I didn't really miss the scooter all that much, but after today's experience I think I miss it more than I've let myself feel. It can be hard for some people to understand how I got so swept up in that life having only been a part of it for a few short months. For me it's not unusual. When I put my heart into something I'm very much an all or nothing kind of guy. I didn't own a Vespa, I was a fanatic. I went to the websites, bought the custom equipment for the scooter, purchased a special helmet and goggles. That's just generally how I approach situations. It's the same with friends. I don't like to be a lackadaisical friend, I like to go all out. I'll cook dinners, arrange outings, find ways to make it to events I'm invited to. I just love to give 110% to things that excite me.

I imagine it's that quality that may or may not someday effect my future relationships. Some women don't like the overzealous types, but that's just how I come off. I can't do aloof or disinterested, because if that's the case I'm legitimately not interested.

Therefore love moderately; long love doth so;
Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.
-Friar Laurence (William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet