Squawkbox.

I've mention I'm a bit of a talker, but it's occurred to me that perhaps there's times were people don't want to hear what I have to say. Whenever I'm in a setting where I'm among people and it's quiet, I'm often the one to make some lame remark on the fact that it's quiet. I don't find silence to be a particularly amicable way to spend time with friends. There are certain situations where I think silence is okay, but generally in a more intimate setting.

I have regular appointments with both my physiotherapist and my massage therapist. Both of them have functioned not only as a therapist for my physical ailments, but as a sort of emotional therapist as well. Having a live person to just talk to really helps sort things out in my brain. Jennifer, my physiotherapist I find to be great to just ramble to. She's very polite about it, which makes me think an aspect to physiotherapist training is learning how to socialize with clients. She'll let me prattle on endlessly about whatever I feel like talking about. It's good to have that kind of soundboard. Angie and Jasmine, my massage therapists function from a more therapeutic angle. I think something about being under the sheets in my skivvies while being massaged my a woman makes me drop my guard. As a result I've shared with them a lot about what's been going on in my mind about particular issues and they always offer up great insight into the matter.

I feel sorry for people who don't have this kind of outlet. Perhaps it's just me and my need to talk, but I think everyone needs someone like this to talk to. Obviously I don't share with them every thought that enters my head, but I certainly talk about a lot of things. Conversation is very much a form of mental and verbal athleticism. If you don't exercise it regularly it atrophies. When I was in high school and a member of the drama program I was quite adept at improvisation. My mind functions at an incredible speed when faced with spur of the moment demands. I think this is why I've made such a good liar in the past. I catch myself when I find myself in a lie these days, but when I was younger I was (ashamedly) very good at it.

I think it's for this reason that I had such a good time with my one Dungeons and Dragons character, Erin. She was a bard, but a very devious and malicious one. While I could go on for quite some time about her escapades what I'd like to mention first and foremost is how she was an extension of my dark side. Everyone's got a dark side, in my opinion. The element that makes you want to do ill and evil. Often this can be kept so in check that some people don't (or can't) recognize their own dark nature. In Erin I was able to gleefully manipulate and control situations vicariously. It was a lot of fun, and for the two other gentlemen who I played with I think they'll agree she had good depth. Part of satiating the darkness in oneself through a game is knowing when to leave it on the page. By this I mean understanding that the game is a game, and what goes on there has no place in reality. I understand this fully, and I would never perform some of the acts that I did with Erin in the real world.

I got off topic there. Conversation as a form of communication is in danger of being dissolved by the text message. You all know where I stand on those. I don't think that the digital generation that we find ourselves is making it easier to understand or communicate with one another. Faster, certainly, but not better. When I am in person with someone, communicating my message I am able to employ hand gestures, facial expressions and other forms of body language. This can aid in the structure of my message better than any emoticon I have at my disposal online. This is why I enjoy the performance of live story tellers or actors more than I would reading a book. It adds depth and dimension to the subject and allows me to be carried directly into the world being described to me. I've fully capable of inventing my own worlds and landscapes. Being provided with a springboard in the form of prose doesn't make this experience more enjoyable for me, in fact it's less so. I'm being informed of what I should be thinking about. Either show me, or let me invent my own pictures. The world in between is forced and uninteresting.

I think I'm tired, I've gone off topic twice now which is a clear sign I didn't really have a topic to remain on in the first place.