Lost In Translation (Yeah I Went There).

I feel bad for foreigners trying to make a decent living in white Southern Ontario. I don't just mean the Pakistani family who run a Chinese restaurant and serve Jell-o. No, what I mean is the ethnic groups who don't quite get that North America's not the magical promised land they saw in the movies.

What made me think of this was a fitness video I stumbled across on Youtube. Don't ask me how I found it, but there it was. A curvaceous fitness instructor built like 2 parts stripper, 1 part soccer mom. She had a very thick accent, one I couldn't immediately place. I don't think she realizes that the reason her video has over 8 million views is because she's built like femme fatale from a comic book. This isn't the first time I've been witness to this kind of doe-eyed optimism from attractive foreigners. It may be a cultural thing, but here in Canada if you're that kind of hot, you tend to know it.

Now there's the possibility she knows this, and is using her body to sell thousands of mediocre exercise tapes. That's entirely within the realm of possible. If that's the case, then kudos to her for taking advantage of man's inability to think straight when something hot, sexy and foreign is doing push ups.

The other side to this coin is one of foreigners attempting to do business in Canada as though they were still in their country. In Canada we have price tags. These are not suggestions, but instead they are tiny bits of information that tell you whether or not you can afford something. You can not offer me what you want and we'll haggle. This isn't Calcutta or Morocco. This is southern Ontario. I don't mean to sound like a racist prick, but it's really not fair that other cultures try this here and if we don't smile and nod we're somehow ignorant and insensitive. If I went to another country and attempted to carry about as though I was still in Canada there's a very likely possibility I'd draw unwanted attention towards myself. I am fascinated by the market cultures of different countries, I really am. I don't think that what they do or how they do it is wrong, but it is the way they do business in their country. I expect a certain amount of respect for the business practices of my native country. When you get first generation immigrants coming into the store and clucking their tongue at the prices, or looking for discounts it's as though they're saying, "No, you're doing this wrong. This is how it should be" and it's an affront to how I was raised.

Perhaps I got on a bit of a soapbox there, but I think I made my point pretty clear. Cultural differences are marvelous, but they should never be practiced in the work place or school. I don't care if your religion says you're allowed to carry a dagger under your robes. On the off chance another kid gets a hold of it and stabs someone, you'll be held accountable. Schools should be grey scale information factories where we learn and develop and work should be at best a mildly enjoyable experience where we put in our nine-to-five. Once you start trying to accommodate each and every race you get bogged down by legislation and bureaucracy.

It's probably a good thing I don't say these things out loud.