Prosperity And Loss.

For nearly two years I wasn't making an official income. I was receiving wage replacement benefits through my insurance company. It was quite a lot, and in fact served to keep me financially afloat. In February of this year those benefits ended, but as a result of my insurance companies lack of sufficient communication I wasn't aware of this fact until nearly the end of April. I had just assumed they had fallen behind on paying me. While it's my own fault for not being cautious with my money, I do feel as though I am not where I should be with my finances. I've started working again, but gas and insurance are fairly expensive and I worry that I won't actually be making money, rather spending money to work.

I've mentioned in previous posts how I would like to limit the spending I do when I hang out with my friends. It's tricky, though. You often get one of two responses from your friends. Either they offer to pay for you (which I don't like, I don't take charity) or they continue with their plan, insisting you come along but don't "have to buy anything". Neither of these solutions is fantastic. On the one hand I feel like a moocher, and on the other my financial restrictions seem highlighted. I'd prefer more situations where spending isn't a factor. I am reminded of an evening out at a friend of a friend's house, just playing boardgames and chatting. It was a lot of fun, and didn't cost a dime really.

When I was a kid, I would spend time at the local creek catching minnows and frogs. We once followed the creek from where it started in the middle of town, all the way to where it ended. As young children this was an adventure of epic proportions. We had to traverse through people's backyards and under fences. We walked along side cows in the nearby field until we came to a small wooded area where clearly some older children had started to build a fort. This was all around the age of 10 give or take a few years. By today's standards this would have been viewed as immensely dangerous. Any one of us could have fallen into the water, or been crushed under the hooves of the cows. We could have cut ourselves on the barbed wire fence or stepped on a nail at the fort. While our explorations were not without their hazards, they helped us learn about our town and surroundings, and it made us fearless.

I remember when they were building the local subdivision and many of the lots were still empty. There was a large hill made of packed earth we would take our bikes and drive up and off it. I remember seeing a spider and remember it as a massive beast, likely to bite me and drag me off into some dark tunnel when I'm sure it was no larger than a nickel. I remember the massive, bottomless pit that we would bike around. We took our parents by it one time to show them, and my dad had his video camera with him. Year later when we watched those home videos, the bottomless pit was nothing more than a pothole in the dirt.

The world was a large and exciting place back then, and as children we were free to traverse it. I went 22 years without a broken bone, or a stitch. All that exploration helped form who I am today as a person. I feel sorry for children growing up in the cities of today, so coddled by their parents and kept out of harm. No creeks to explore, no cows to dodge, only busy streets.

And for all those memories, not a single one of them cost a dime.