Sans Inspiration.

As a way to help out my family, I had taken charge of cooking dinners. This was done roughly around Sept/Oct of 2009. Now, I've cooked a lot of mediocre meals, and a few fabulous ones, but I feel like I'm running out of ideas.

There is a tonne of recipes I'd like to try to cook, but when I say I'm running out of ideas, I mean I'm at an impasse with my father when it comes to groceries. I'd like to cook with one level of ingredients, and my dad's often bringing home a different level of ingredients. Forgive me if that sounds super pretentious, but I guess I was born with champagne tastes on a family that's more or less conservative in costs and preferences.

As an example, I cooked date and Gruyère cheese stuffed chicken thighs, wrapped in prosciutto. It was a hit! The next day was canned stew, and again it was fine. I feel like I'm often offering pearls before swine and that I'm putting too much thought into the whole situation.

I know how I'd like to eat daily if it were possible. It would be lavish, and rich and unique. This is an expensive way to think. Fortunately I'm a good enough cook that I don't ruin these good ingredients, but that's almost a useless quality without an endless supply of exotic foods to work with. To my dad's credit, he's very good about making sure there's food in the fridge. For a man who's been the sole income earner of this household for well over a decade he's done incredible things with his modest income. I also am able to whip up some interesting dishes with what's available to me, but I crave more.

I feel an urge to be limitless in my possibilities, using the finest ingredients to really treat my family. Ah, but there lies another issue! My father requests that we eat between 5:00 and 5:30. This is a little early for my liking, and it often doesn't allow my older brother to join us as he doesn't even get off work until 5:30. That alone has been a huge source of contention for all involved. My younger brother's job also keeps him away from dinner fairly often, so it's just mom, dad and I for most dinners.

My brothers would, no doubt appreciate my cooking a little more than my parents. All three of us spent some time working in a high-end restaurant for over a year. We were exposed to foods we'd never even heard of, and became hooked instantly on the concept that dining out can be just as enjoyable a form of entertainment as perhaps going to the movies, or the theatre. It can be a production all in itself, and with the right clientèle/audience you can have a great time.

And then there's mom and dad, who seem overwhelmed when dining out at nice restaurants. I understand neither of them came from a lot of money, but I feel somehow embarrassed and even a little angry when I am witness to their gasps at prices, and chin-scratching at menu items. I wish I didn't feel that way, to be honest. I have a bad habit of being very judgemental and bossy, and I feel that sometimes pours over into my behaviour when out with mom and dad. I'm not a mean person, by any stretch of the imagination. I just have ideas of what people should act like in my mind, and when they fail to act that way it's confusing. Then, like most people I get irritated when I'm confused, and you can see where this leads.

It certainly is an aspect of my personality I'd like to get control of.