Easy's Getting Harder Every Day.

Don't worry, this post won't be all somber and melancholy, the title is just that of a song I heard on the way home. It did make me think about the difficulty we all face when trying to have good, simple lives. I enjoy excitement as much as the next guy or girl. I require a certain amount of excitement in each day to invigorate me, like a shot of Red Bull and crack. What I also need is downtime. The time to sit in front of the TV and not have anything else assault my senses. No extra noise, no questions, no interruptions of any kind. In a family of five, like mine getting this downtime is fairly difficult. My older brother accomplishes this by living at his girlfriend's house half the week, and my younger brother seems to bury himself in work and friends. Personally my down time is much more private. I am most content when I've got the entire house to myself. This way, if I choose to play loud music, or nap on the couch I've got the option. I think that's really what downtime means to me is freedom and choice.

In order to function responsibly in society, we have to adhere to all kinds of rules and requests. This is how society functions, by everyone working in tandem. When you're exposed to those demands day in and day out, you start to burn out and you need to reset. This is the purpose of the vacation. Homeless and other non-contributing zeros do not get to take vacations. Even I don't feel right taking a vacation from work, and I never really have. This means I've got to achieve my "Zen" elsewhere. I do this by going for drives on quiet streets or putting a movie on late at night just for me. It works well enough, but it makes me think about people like my dad. He's the type of person (and there are many of them) that cannot relax unless he's sure his world won't fall apart. Allow me to clarify. If he's not absolutely sure he's taken care of everything, and paid the bills, checked his email, etc. then he cannot and will not sit down and relax. His reasoning is that he gets to relax when it's all done, completely glazing over the fact that a huge part of relaxing is knowing when to quit. I'm not saying to leave tasks half finished, but it's okay to just drop what you're doing and take ten minutes to yourself. It's unhealthy not to.

I wonder how only children or people in situations where perhaps space isn't an issue, relax. Obviously just having time to yourself isn't the trick, as for some people that's all they have is time to themselves. Do they relax by going out? Doing things with friends? I like my friends well enough, but they require a certain amount of energy to deal with. I mean this in the kindest of ways, but as we're a very verbal and communicative group you need a certain amount of willpower just to keep up with what's being said. At times this can be a very attractive way to spend time, but other times I'd rather just be at home, in my room with the light's off and door shut.

I am reminded of a time a few years ago where I house-sat for my uncle while he and my dad went on a road trip. I stayed there for about a week or so, and when I came back home to deal with my family I found the whole situation to be very overwhelming. I was snippy with them, and generally more difficult to be around than I normally am. When you go long periods of time without regular conversation you kind of forget how.

I think this is why people who are socially inept remain that way. Without daily social contact with other people, your skills in that area begin to wither. You forget what's funny, or what's okay to say and continue to come across as being a bit socially "retarded". I've known people like this since grade 6. The types who are certainly friendly and good people, but just can't seem to wrap their heads around social scenarios. It's a bit sad, really. If I've got one skill, it's talking. I've even decided to make a career in radio based off this fact. For me, it's alien to imagine a situation where I'd be at a loss for words.

I'm not saying I'm a total chatterbox, although I can be. I'm just comfortable talking with almost anyone about almost anything. I say almost because there's realms of converse I am not good with. Yesterday I attended (early, but that's a whole other story) a party. One of the fellows there insisted I go out and smoke a joint with him. I have never, not once tried or taken any kind of drug not prescribed by a doctor. I'm not even the slightest bit curious. This came across as the most startling fact to this guy, and he pushed several more times for me to come outside with him. I'm a patient guy, very patient. What I'm not patient with is when I say, "no" and people heard "maybe". I say what I mean, and if people are going to argue with what are essentially aspects of my personality then I'm likely to just walk away from them, no matter what the setting. I was prepared that if he asked again, to just leave and head home. I can say "no" a bunch, but it makes me uncomfortable when people are awestruck by my choices. I didn't lecture him on the "evils of pot", I just said "no". I kept saying "no".

Now that I've thoroughly diverged from whatever my original topic was, I think in summation I'd have to agree with the title of that song I heard on the way home. Easy is getting harder every day, but that's not always a bad thing.

I'd rather live a life of complexity and questions than a life of simplicity and boredom.